Giving Up Our Right to be Offended (Part 2)

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him”. (James 1:12 ESV)

The Lord had laid this on my heart to continue to address and shine light on this subject of giving up offenses. So when a person gets a message to share, note that they are the first partaker. Ouch.

Jesus was offended by the very people He died trying to save. From the pulpit to the door we are either the offender or the offended. Just because a person attends church and reads the Bible, does not mean that they are living for Christ. Look at the fruit that falls from their tree.

We have to learn to separate the deed of offense from the person. We cannot get caught up on titles. Each person is a child of God. We are all human and make mistakes. Whatever the offender said or did, we must give it to God. Jesus loved them enough to die on a cross for them just as much as He died on the cross for you or me. “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you”. (John 15:18 ESV)

We must remember that what the offender did to you is not about you. You were just

convenient for them to vomit on. You cannot change what they did to you, but you do have control over your reaction to the injustice. You may never get an apology. The offender has moved on in their life and you are still stuck, But God. God can turn this situation around, but He needs you to surrender your right to the offense. You have to cry out to the Lord for help. This a battle in the spiritual realm between God and the evil one, you and I just happen to be in the middle.

Let the Lord fight your battles. You don’t have to allow anyone to walk all over you. Always treat people with respect, but don’t become a doormat. Set boundaries. You are not weak because you do not respond outwardly to an injustice. Take everything to the Lord in prayer. As a matter of fact, the Lord makes you strong in what appears to be your weakness. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Exodus 14:14 ESV)

We must try to see the offender through the eyes of God. God is Love. If we are honest with ourselves, when we are offended, we rehearse the offense over and over in our mind. Because we know that we are right in the situation, our thoughts take over and the next thing we know, the offense has taken hold in our soul. The offense has taken root. Do not continue to water the offense with thoughts and words. You must put the word of God on the situation and make positive confessions daily. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance”. (2 Peter 3:9 ESV)

Choose to give the offense to the Lord. We do not want to ruin our relationship with the Lord because of unforgiveness. All of this is not easy to do alone. We need the help of the Holy Spirit.

Pray, search me Oh Lord. Get into my nooks and crannies and take out of me anything that keeps this door of offense open. Don’t let the offense take root in my life. Lord, I need your help to renounce this offense from my heart.

Remember, our life is about Jesus. He needs us to do the work of the ministry. In this season, we need to get out and may have encounters with rude persons. Don’t take offense, immediately say Lord, I chose to give this situation over to you. Pray for the offender and move on. You may never see the change in that person, but you planted a seed. “  And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”. (Romans 12:2)

Talk Yourself out of Being Offended. Immediately renounce the offense from your heart and begin to pray for the offender’s salvation. Every day that we allow the offense to manifest, it blocks our access to the Lord. Have compassion for the offender. Try to understand their mindset. Remember, the offense is not about you, but something lacking in the life of the offender. Practice Detachment from the situation. Do not let the offender see your full emotions. Be Humble and Love Truth more than Being Right. We must die to self and Overcome Self-Centeredness. Always reserve the right to judgment.

“Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others”. ( Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 ESV)

“Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. (Luke 6:22-23

ESV)

by Caroline Demby

Don't Be Emotionally Led

“Wisdom says wait; emotions say hurry.”

The Word of God says in Colossians 3:15 to be led by peace in making decisions. Don't let your emotions make your decisions. Believers are called to live in peace. Peace is a part of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). We receive peace with God through the blood of the cross (Colossians 1:20). It is to "rule" in our hearts, meaning it should be in charge of how we live. Believers are not called to live in violence or squabbles among each other, but in peace (Colossians 1:2).

Jesus walked as God in the flesh on earth and showed human emotions. In the Scriptures, we see Him display EMPATHY- the capacity and ability to understand and share the feelings of others in the last hours before his crucifixion on the cross. COMPASSION towards people suffering from either physical ailments or as a result of their sinful actions. HAPPINESS in the Beatitudes, which says, "Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven." SADNESS as He wept over the death of Lazarus and He cried again in Luke 19:41 which says, "As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it." ANGER especially at religious leaders who thought they were better than others and driving all from the temple courts because HE didn't want the house of his father to become a house of merchandise.” It is important to note that there is no record of Jesus experiencing fear, anxiety, and worry! Read Matthew 6:25–34 for Jesus' teaching on worry.

To be led by emotions means that a person is emotionally driven and means that your emotional, impulsive brain is always overriding your rational one and shutting it down. To keep our emotions in check, we need to slow down, pause so that our brain can reset, and seek the Lord daily in every decision. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

David had to reset his emotions many times when he was being chased by King Saul. David was a man after God’s own heart. As King, he let his emotions override his good judgment and slept with Bathsheba, even though she was married. King David wrote Psalm 51 to repent of his sins and beg God’s forgiveness (Psalm 51:10-19).

We must not confuse our emotions with God’s voice. We must spend time in prayer and in His Word helps us to better understand God's character and recognize His voice. We must not base our decisions solely on feelings. We are flawed as human beings and our emotions are also flawed and quite able to deceive us. Our emotions are created by our brain and are not universally expressed. We cannot analyze a person by their emotions. Some of the people who seem to have it all, are suffering in silence. Science says that emotions are guesses in our brain. Emotions are built into our brain at birth but not yet formed because there is no experience to connect it with. As we go through life’s experiences, we form emotions based on those experiences. We may see someone who is depressed and project our emotional thoughts onto what we believe is wrong with them. Yet the emotions that we ascribe to that person are actually coming from our own emotional experiences.

Humankind can be awfully bad at recognizing the emotions of themselves and others, leading to a lot of misunderstandings. I used to be a quiet person and was OK with that. But those on the outside talked about me and my so-called emotional state amongst themselves instead of having a conversation with me. I forgive them because we all have made a similar type of judgment call on someone at one point in our lives. An only child might get labeled as withdrawn and a loaner when in fact, that person grew up without siblings and learned to occupy their time and adapt to not having a 24/7 sibling to play with.

Body language has long been used to dictate a person’s emotional state. For example, if we see a person who has their arms folded it is assumed that they are mad or bored when in fact, it is just the way that they feel comfortable to rest their body. Emotions that seem to happen to a person are actually created by that person. We have more control over our emotions than we think. Our brain is wired that if we change what we put into our brains then we can teach our brain to react differently. We must set our eyes, heart, and mind on Kingdom things and not worldly things. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2). We are the creators of our experiences. We can place and or remove ourselves in a situation, good or bad. We must have mercy and compassion for those who do have a serious medical concern when it comes to emotions. Many leaders face burn-out because they feel that if they are honest and show their true emotions, that they will be ridiculed or kicked out of ministry when all they would have to do is confess that they have a struggle and are seeking Biblical Christian counseling. We must put into practice valuing others above ourselves.

Moses was frustrated with the people and lost his temper (feelings and emotions). He struck the rock twice when the Lord only told him to speak to the rock in the desert to bring forth water for Israel. In Exodus 17:6, the Lord instructed Moses to strike the rock to produce water (obedience). In Numbers 20:8-11, Moses was instructed to speak to the rock. Moses struck the rock and was punished by God for disobedience. He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city (Proverbs 16:32).

Once a person has an emotional connection with God and their emotional needs are met, then they can truly have the emotional capacity to value connecting with others without bleeding on them. For example, I need to know God has my back, and I can turn over my cares and worries to him (1 Peter 5:7). I need to know he forgives me (Psalm 32). I need to know God will give me courage and guide me on the best path for my future (Romans 8:28).

Our emotions matter a lot in our relationship with God and others around us and can be a gateway to experiencing God. Take time to reflect on how you handle your emotions and how that affects your relationship with God. Pray and talk to God honestly. Then pray about when to have an honest talk with friends and family so that you can better understand each other better and grow closer. 8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces[a] of this world rather than on Christ (Colossians 2:8 NIV). - by Caroline Demby

Scripture reference: "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful" (Colossians 3:15 KJV).

Why Am I Here?

"Blessed and worthy of praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ, just as [in His love] He chose us in Christ [actually selected us for Himself as His own] before the foundation of the world, so that we would be holy [that is, consecrated, set apart for Him, purpose-driven] and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined and lovingly planned for us to be adopted to Himself as [His own] children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the kind intention and good pleasure of His will—to the praise of His glorious grace and favor, which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved [His Son, Jesus Christ]". (Ephesians 1:3-6 AMP)

Do you ever ask yourself why am I here? We are each born with a God-given destiny. Faith in God is needed to fulfill our destiny. We are all Predestined because He knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb. Definition: PREDES'TINATE is to predetermine or foreordain; to appoint or ordain beforehand by an unchangeable purpose. Whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son (Romans 8 Message). Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself (Ephesians 1 Message). You are here for a purpose, for the Glory of God and to advance the Kingdom of God. We are on this place called earth and people often get sucked into the way of the world and distracted from their true purpose and out of the Will of God.

Moses thought that he could not lead people because of his stutter, yet the Lord knew He could use him. Joseph had a few dreams which revealed his purpose in his family. Those dreams did not warn him about the paths that he would be taken through. Being thrown in prison may not have been an ideal steppingstone yet Joseph was never bitter about his situation. The Lord used Pharaoh to reward Joseph for his faithfulness. Joseph kept his faith in God to bring him through the trials that took him from the pit that his brothers placed him in, to the palace that he would eventually be in charge of (Genesis (37–50).

It is in first grade when teachers start asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. We are often taught that our purpose is to get a job, work in a career for 25-30 years so that we can retire and get a pension or social security. This has been how we have lived for centuries and I have come to realize that there is much more. Jobs may have you take a personality test, but the Creator of the Universe is the one who knows you best. Present culture has us looking for things to do so that we get our “fifteen minutes of fame”. This has terribly corrupted the morals of our society. We have become a Babylonian society. People do not have respect for themselves, so how can we expect them to have respect for us or others? We are called to be good stewards of the funds the Lord entrusts us with. You may have to say NO when someone asks to borrow money or even your car. David was anointed to be King when he was a teen tending to his father’s sheep. He was a man with a heart after God. God chose to use him, flaws and all. (Psalm 51:10-19). Failure is not a desire but sometimes happens in life. Failure just means that you try and try again until you succeed.

When my children were young, I had encouraged them to join the choir, take music lessons, etc. Unbeknownst to me, the kids teased them for being “nerdy”, so they no longer desired to continue the lesson plans. They later confessed that the social pressure of adolescent life drained the passion out of them. I had no clue that they were being bullied into thinking these simple enjoyments of life were considered weird in the eyes of their peers. It is never too late to discover who you are. Teach your children to know who they really are. Teach them to value themselves and get rid of unhealthy relationships, even if it is with someone in the church body.

Esther had been placed in a difficult situation and was either going to sink or swim. She chose to swim. She took the problem of her people to King Xerxes and found favor in his sight (Esther 4-7). Silence the bullies and naysayers. The Bible says to pray for them that despitefully use you. Sometimes friends are frenemies in disguise, and they may not give you good counsel. It is sad to say, but there are some, family, friends and people who are in your life and secretly do not want to celebrate with you. Find a strong biblically based Christian counselor to speak with to help you deal with any issues.

Encourage the entrepreneurial spirit within yourself and those around you. Develop a business plan. Are we “Purpose Driven” or just Finding Stuff to do to keep us busy? It is Ok to set a goal, but pray so that you do not miss your true calling. If you have children, pray intentionally and constantly for the revelation of their purpose so that you can help guide them. It is never too late to start. If you have a prodigal, keep praying for them. The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Ask yourself what are you passionate about? We must develop an intentional spirit of self-discipline. We must also encourage ourselves and as well as those around us often. We must Build self-esteem in ourselves and our children and those around us. If you do not know how, it is OK to ask for help. Pray for wisdom, guidance and courage. Your biblical values will lead you and guide your thoughts and actions.

Why am I here? Be honest with yourself. Living should not feel like a chore. Yes there is a sacrifice and cost at times. Encourage yourself and the young ones in your life to write a journal so that you can begin to develop and see a pathway forward . Start a personal blog for yourself or to share with close family. Even if no one else reads it, it will keep you thinking and motivated. You may want to work on public speaking in your spare time to build confidence. Whatever job that you have held, whatever things that you have learned on the job, consider it steppingstones to your growth. If you like teaching, volunteer to be a mentor. As they grow, you will continue to grow and learn something about yourself that you didn't know was within you. If you feel yourself becoming lazy or going into a depression, get an accountability partner. Our Attitude can change the atmosphere and how high and far you can go in your journey. Protect your mental health and Be sure to laugh again. Are you able to laugh at yourself? Do not be so critical. We are usually our worst critics. Never feel Embarrassed about yourself. Society has put too much pressure on looks, physical ability and how to become wealthy at any cost. Before social media, we can all probably agree that life seemed less complicated.

In the trials of life you discover who you really are and what you are made of? You discover that you can make sacrifices and handle rejection. You discover what you are not willing to tolerate. I seemed to get the “bad/mean” boss to work for. After a while, I realized that the Lord knew that I could handle them and the situations that would arise. It was nothing personal; these bosses were just not nice to most whom they came into contact with. I politely told them that their behavior was unacceptable, that I did not have to put up with it and walked away to my respective corner of the office. I said Lord, these are yours, please deal with their hearts. Some of the bosses never really apologized. I am still friends to this day with the one that I walked away from. The other two or three got fired.

We have 365 days in a year, 24 hours in a day and we need to be intentional about how we spend those days and hours. The Lord never promised that this journey called life would be easy. If a problem arises, pray about it. It may be necessary to confront it early on. Pray for wisdom on how to handle the situation, pray for the hearts of those involved, including your own. Get rid of those who keep bringing up your past. Do not put God in a box nor yourself in a box. Embrace your uniqueness. Be vulnerable before the Lord. Do not worry about what others think about you and Press on. The Favor of your life may bring out jealousy. Problems come and go. No More Excuses. No More Delay. Everything has an expiration date.

Trust and Believe that God is working in your life even when you do not feel it. We must live in a daily state of repentance and forgiveness. “Lord, give me the strength to move beyond my flesh.” Be honest with yourself. Is the reason that I cannot worship is because there is someone else (an idol) sitting on the throne of our heart such as worry, our appearance, money, success, sports, TV, etc.? The more of God we get into our life, the more free we will be (2 Corinthians 3 AMP). Put the Lord back in His rightful place and begin to live again. Live the life that God intended for you to live and prayerfully find the answer to the question of "Why Am I Here?"