“Surely, resentment kills a fool and jealousy the simple”. – Job 5:2
Resentment actually means a sense of indignation or ill-will felt as a result of a real or imagined offence. Have you ever been offended and hurt? I’m sure you have. When you look deep-down in yourself, do you see the fact that you resent people?
It happens a lot, and it’s a fact in life that you are going to be hurt from time to time by people who hurt you intentionally, or by people who hurt you unintentionally, but you are going to be hurt. Sometimes those closest to us hurt us the most, even when they don’t mean to. How we handle the hurt that comes to us in life will determine our happiness to a great degree.
If you hold on to a hurt, it becomes hate, it becomes resentment. And resentment is the great destroyer of relationships. Many times, people say, I have no feelings for my husband or my wife. I am just dead on the inside as far as my feelings are concerned. I don’t hate them; I just don’t feel anything. Well, that is exactly what resentment will do. If it is not dealt with, if it is not countered, if it is not treated with love, resentment will build until it kills the love that existed in a relationship between a man and a wife. It will eat up the energy that you have for living life and for being up to the challenge of life. And you become emotionally empty and you have nothing to give because of the power of resentment in your life.
I had a favorite phrase that I loved to use all the time. All of a sudden, a friend of mine adapted it as her own and started using it. I didn’t like it…I resented it. Every time she used it, this annoying feeling would rise up inside of me. On top of that, others were asking me if I realized she took my phrase. I prayed about it, spoke to her concerning what she did and how I felt. Yet, all she said was, “Oh, I liked it, so I decided to use it too.” I said not another word. For her, it was no big deal. I kept praying about it each time I saw her use it, until God removed the feeling. She never knew how much it still bothered me, because I “chose” the Jesus to Judas rule…love over resentment. He never exposed Judas or treated him any differently but loved him the same as the other disciples. This is what the Lord requires of us (Romans 12:17-19).
Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirs up trouble; love overlooks the wrongs that others do”. The only way to let go of resentment is to replace it with love. And God can help you do that…not in your own strength, but in the divine grace He gives you if you ask.
You may be driven by resentment. Resentment always hurts you more than the one resented. Those who hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you unless you hold onto the pain through resentment. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness. Doctors say a lot of people could leave their hospital bed today if they knew how to get rid of resentment over things they have done to others, and things others have done to them.
If we don’t forgive and forget, we will remember and resent.
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